Some people dislike small-talk for what they think is meaningless and superfluous chatter. But this is a mistake.

Being a good small-talker makes you a more friendly and open person in the eyes of other people. Being approachable is an advantage, yet some people prefer not to talk when they don’t have anything meaningful to say. This, however, is perceived as a lack of confidence and can label a person anything from “shy” to “weird”.

The remedy is to simply be more chatty. Perhaps you are one of those silent people and wonder what to do about it. No problem. Here’s how you can become a more chatty person.

The key is practice. You should strive to talk with anyone you come across, anywhere. If you are paying your groceries, exchange a few sentences with the cashier. Chat with your neighbors and engage in interactions with children. The latter is a problem for many people (usually men) who don’t have children of their own or in their family. But this is only because it’s a new situation.

Talk to people on the street, ask them about their dogs, ask for the way and even talk about the weather. Do that until it becomes somewhat of a habit for you. But don’t overdo it. People that can’t shut up can be perceived as annoying.

In order to become a good small talker you should also have knowledge about various topics. From daily news to pop culture gossip. No, you don’t need to subscribe to EW.com’s RSS, just take note of the bigger stories as you will inevitably come across them. Remember Michael Jackson’s death? I don’t think there’s even one person that missed that event. Whatever interests you or sparks your curiosity is good. If you feel passionate about skydiving, I’m sure you can talk forever about it. But even seemingly more boring topics make good conversations. When you have a good idea or see something interesting, make a mental note (or a note in your BlackBerry) of it and tell it to others at a later occasion.

Charisma. This is a bit more tricky and also a bit more vague. But in order to become more “charismatic”, work on your listening skills, try to empathize with people (imagine what they feel like, or what moves them emotionally) and your rhetoric skills. You can also practice speaking in front of a mirror for a couple of minutes every day.

Finally work on your shyness. Don’t let others cut you off and assume the same importance in conversations for yourself as for the other people. Keep good eye contact and maintain a good speech rythm. With enough pauses and good volume.

If you think now, small-talk is just meaningless chatter, I encourage you to give it a try for, say, three weeks. You might change your mind.

In the context of career advice: Being a good small-talker is one of the key ingredients of charming yourself up to the top.

Did you like this article? Subscribe to our career advice RSS-Feed.

Comments are closed.